Testing our patience...

We have a 2 year old Great Dane, named Ruff.

Ruff was my baby before I had a baby.  Though Brendon's never really had a strong attachment/connection with the dog, I certainly have.  We had completely different childhoods.  My family always had a dog in the house, they were part of our family.  Our Rottweiler passed away in 2009 at the age of 8 years old, from bone cancer and our miniature Dachshund also passed away in 2009 at the age of 17, because we felt he no longer had any quality of life and put him down (he was deaf, blind and my parents were moving to a new house as well, my brother was leaving to go to Australia for 6 months and wanted him to be able to say goodbye).  Not only were they our family members, they were my best friends!  I LOVE dogs.  Brendon however, grew up on a farm.  Dogs lived outside.  When the dog got ill, or heck! if you no longer wanted it, you went out back and shot it.  So you can see how I have much more of an attachment to our dog then he does.

Typically I'd rave about how good of a dog he is.  He is so laid back and calm.  They (google) refers to Great Danes as being gentle giants, he certainly is!  He has been great with Beckham since we've brought him home.  He typically is a great dog.  Aside from drooling all over our carpet, walls and furniture and shedding like you've never seen before.  I rarely complain about him.  But this has changed...

I should start by saying that since he was a puppy, we trained him to not go in the kitchen.  A dog that stands 4 1/4 feet tall does not need to be in the kitchen.  When we moved into our new house, though it was a new kitchen, he just knew he wasn't allowed in it.  But that all changed last week...

For months we were no longer kenneling him when we would leave the house for the day.  I felt he had grown up and wouldn't get into anything.  He would occasionally go into the baby's room and take out all the stuffies from his room, and sofie the giraffe and scatter them around the house but that was it.  Young Ruff would have chewed those items, not just taken them out of his room.  I left chicken on the kitchen counter last week and I guess that day Ruff decided he was going to go counter surfing, yes he ate the chicken and the baby's pacifier that day.  The next day we went to bed and woke up to the reminence of a plastic bag, Ruff had ate 3 chocolate donuts and most of the plastic bag they were in while we were sleeping.  The following day (yesterday) he ate an avocado and the majority of the avocado pit (which is like a stone) this was while I was home, but was upstairs feeding the baby. This morning we were awoken at 6am by Ruff puking.  Ruff puked out a bottle nipple, whole, and part of the plastic bag that he ate a few nights ago.  I also noticed that the other two bottle nipples were missing off the counter, so i'll be waiting for him to either puke those out or poop them out.  Tonight while I was upstairs putting the baby to bed Ruff ate an onion...like seriously an onion, well part of it!  (Yes I know onions are poisonous to dogs, but trust me he'd need to eat 10 before it affected him because of his size).  This dog is really testing my patience and obviously Brendon has had it with him and I'm sure would gladly get rid of him.  But to me, he's our family member.  Although I can't stand the drool, the dog hair, the inconvienance of having to walk him every time he has to go to the bathroom (because currently we have a mud pitt for a yard because its not developed yet). As much as he ruins our brand new house and brand new furniture.  As much as I've had it with him getting into absolutely everything. When we bought him as a pup we made a commitment to him that in my eyes come hell or high water, he will always be with us.  There have been so many times this dog has tested my patience, but heck!  My children will do the same, and I won't be getting rid of them.  Needless to say the dog is back to being kenneled when we aren't home and it seems like he could stand to be kenneled while we are home, but obviously we wouldn't do that to him.  I sure hope he smartens up quick! ...I just heard him going down the stairs so I quickly ran to see what he was up to, and oh yes as I'm writing this my dog went into the kitchen and was counter surfing.  Finally I caught him in the act and could lecture him for it!

xo
A

Self control...what's that?

I have totally fallen off track!

I have not been to the gym in, well ages.

I have thee biggest, and I mean thee biggest sweet tooth.  Not only that, but I have zero self control when it comes to food.  I never have and quite honestly, I don't think I ever will.  But enough is enough.  We leave for Maui in 3 months and I want to be in shape.  Thin and toned.

Tonight I wrote little blurbs on post it notes such as 'Sunday is just around the corner...'  'Hungry...? Have a tall glass of water' ...you get my drift.  I put these post it notes all around my house and hope that I can stay on track by doing this.  I am going to try to cut out any added sugars, dairy, and breads.    Dairy will be easy because the only dairy I have is cream in my coffee.  Sugars and breads are my favorite things so that will be tough BUT on Sundays I will allow myself to have a cheat day.  I wish I didn't need to allow myself to do this but quite honestly my diet consists of sugar and carbs and now I'll be limiting those two things 6 days a week, so in order to stay focused I need to have a cheat day.

Tomorrow I will be faced with my first challenge/temptation.  My brother in law is in town visiting from Vancouver and we're going out for dinner with him.  If I weren't eating clean I'm the girl that's ordering chili chicken on rice or poutine or something ridiculously unhealthy but tomorrow I guess I'll be ordering chicken with no butter/oil and a double side of veg with no butter/oil.

Wish me luck!  Because I will need it.

It seems kind of crazy to me that I'm going to torture myself to get in shape only to get pregnant again.  Oh well, it's what I want.

xo
A

4 months

Well yet another month has come and gone, and I find myself asking the same question...where has the time gone?  My babe is 4 months old today!

We celebrated being 4 months old by getting his 4 month shots first thing this morning.  I was obviously dreading it, but I was feeling pretty confident about it because at his 2 month shots he cried hard for all of a minute.  Today was nothing like his 2 month shots...he cried...and cried...and cried some more.  He was having a difficult time catching his breath because he was crying so hard!  Tears ran down his face as he bawled for 7 minutes straight.  He was SO upset.  It was heart breaking!  Other babies were coming out of the rooms content as can be.  Now I know Beckham can be quite dramatic at times, but I can sympathize with getting 3 shots.

The last nurse we had did them bang, bang, bang and we were done.  Today's nurse took her sweet time as she jabbed him.  She poked him with the first one, then slowly got the second one ready, poked him with that one, by this point he was quite upset!  She rang a bell to try to distract him, which calmed him a bit.  Then she covered the needle site with a cotton ball and some tape and got him ready for his third jab.  Well that just put him over the edge, he was hysterical by that point.  Next time I will ask the nurse to be quick rather then drag it out and torture the poor babe!

He's sleeping in my arms with a bit of a fever as I'm typing this.  Other then a slight fever he seems to be in good spirits, or did when he was awake.

Bekx was weighed and measured at his appointment today.  He seemed to be long and thin, and that was confirmed by his stats today.  Beckham at 4 months old you are 25 3/4" long, which places you in the 90th percentile for height and you are 14lbs 1oz which puts you in the 40th percentile for weight.  It is hard to find clothes that fit you well!  You are wearing 6 - 12 month sleepers, which are so baggy on you!  Your shirts are 3 - 6 months but are getting short in the torso.  You can wear 0 - 3 month shorts because your waist is so tiny but I usually put you in 3 - 6 month shorts and pants and make do with the waist being 3 inches too big. These sizes are based on clothes from baby gap as that is where the majority of your clothes are from.  You are such a sweet boy.  Strangers often comment on your relaxed/content demeanor.  Your happiest time of day is in the mornings after you've slept for 12 hours (with two feedings now).  You smile a lot.  You have started to giggle which makes me squeal every time, the sweetest sound my ears have ever heard!  You are usually only awake for an hour or two before you need a nap.  You make it very apparent that you're ready for a nap because you start fussing/crying.  To your family you are absolutely perfect and you are SO loved.

xo
A

Giggles!

Beckham belted out his first giggles on Thursday morning.  I didn't blog about it then, in case it was just a one time thing, but it certainly wasn't!

I have never heard anything sweeter!  I loved/love the coo'ing, and the big smiles he does, but giggling...be still my heart.  I can't get enough of him or his sweet little, usually serious personality!  Oh the joy this baby brings me.  :):)

xo
A

Blessed

I wanted to post this yesterday, but, I was too exhausted to type.

I am a HUGE family girl.  Call me biased but I think I have the best family.  Everyone of them is so genuine, caring, loving, generous...just to name a few of their qualities.  I'm going to speak about one family member in particular in this post, but just know they are all equally amazing individuals.

I have been close to my Nanny (grandmother) since I was in diapers.  She holds a very special place in my heart.  When we moved from Yorkton to Regina, my Nanny moved to stay close to us.  When we moved from Regina to Calgary, she moved to Calgary. When my parents moved to St. Albert a couple years ago, my Nanny moved to St. Albert.  It is very evident that she can't live without us, nor can we live without her being close.

Yesterday morning I called my Nanny to ask her to look after Beckham, so I could go back to my parents house and hopefully catch up on some sleep. I got about 3 - 1 hour increments of sleep the night before.  One night with little sleep is manageable.  Three consecutive nights with little sleep, and I was struggling!  (My husband is out of town working). I hadn't known the true meaning of sleep deprived until this week!

'Well rested babies make happy babies and well rested parents make happy parents and happy parents make better parents.'  Amen to that!  (I got that little blurb out of a book)

I dropped Bekx off with my Nanny and drove to my parents house to nap.  I had just layed down and the phone rang, it was my Nanny calling.  The bottle I left her with was leaking like a siv and the baby was soaked in milk, not to mention he couldn't eat.  Since I nurse Beckham, he isn't bottle fed and there was obviously a malfunction at the junction with this bottle!  My plans of napping were ruined.  I hopped in the vehicle and drove back to my Nannys to feed the baby.  I decided I'd just lay down in her bed and try to sleep, while she looked after him.  I never did fall asleep because by this point I was overtired and all I could think of, was how badly I needed to sleep.  This used to happen when I would work nights.  I physc myself out and am unable to sleep.  I rested for an hour.

My Nanny, Beckham's GG, has been such a huge part of his life.  She loves him like no other, and though she's almost 80 years old and I feel bad that she might struggle to lug him around, she is always more then happy to help me out!  She has babysat for me numerous times, while I go to appointments.  He really lights up her life and its so amazing to see how much love she has for her entire family.  Her grandchildren mean the world to her and now so does her great grandson.

I talk to my Nanny at least once a day.  She is the first person I call when I'm upset (usually something my dogs done).  Though her words are rarely comforting ('just shoot him!'), I know she just hates to see me upset.  This woman is straight laced and as real as they get, she says it how it is, and never sugar coats it.  I guess I take after her?...so they say!

We ended up spending the entire day there with her and she had so much fun cuddling and playing with him.  And I got a break, as I just visited with her and fed him when he was hungry.  Though I never did get to catch up on sleep, we had a very enjoyable day.  I can only hope that I can give my family the love, help, and the generosity that she has given to me and my son,each and every day of her life.  I love this lady more than words can say!  I am so blessed to call her my grandmother.

xo
A

Two words

Two words.

Two horrible words.

Sleep Regression.

Not familiar?  Check out this article... https://www.babysleepsite.com/how-we-sleep/4-month-old-sleep-regression/

This week has been a challenge.  I'm exhausted.  Sometimes waking up 10+ times a night to give Beckham his pacifier, or worse, try to get him to fall back asleep, obviously doesn't make one feel rested come morning!

A couple weeks back I wrote about his 3 month growth spurt that had me catching fewer z's.  Well this is much worse than that!  He will be 4 months, next week, and a lady at my new moms group mentioned that this is quite possibly what he's going through right now.  As much as I hope it isn't, it seems like it is.  And being a single(ish) mom, and not having my husband home to help, officially sucks! 

Praying he figures his sleep patterns out soon!  ...but if you read the article it states 'Some parents will be one of the lucky few whose baby will go back to sleeping well in 2-4 weeks, however, not all of us will be that lucky. For example, I find that babies who need a pacifier to sleep where you are replacing it many times per night do not stop needing that pacifier to sleep.'  With that said, I think I'm hooped. 

Well it was sure nice to have a baby that slept for 12 hours in his crib for a few weeks anyways. 

I'm tired. 

xo
A

Single(ish) mom!

I'm a wife to a husband that works out of town.  In the winter months we can expect him to be out of town for 4 nights a week.  During spring break up we usually can expect him to be home most nights.

This has not been the case.

He has been out of town for the past three work weeks.  And not this past weekend but the one before he was at a ball tournament that was out of town so he really hasn't been home in 12 days until this weekend.  Yesterday he told me that he'll be out of town next week too.

Beckham and I have got into such a groove of not having him around, that it really isn't THAT bad.  Sure we'd love for him to be home every night, but sometimes you just have to sacrifice.  We've chosen to live the lifestyle we're living and an in town HSE Supervisor job would probably not pay our bills.  This is a means to an end because one day we hope to be working for ourselves and have him home every night.  One. day...soon.  It makes me sad, and I'm sure my husband sad to not get to really see our son grow up and to miss his milestones.  But like I said, this is a means to an end...

This past weekend we partook in our fourth annual 5km walk for ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease.  My father in law passed away from this horrific disease in 2009 at the age of 59.  Gone way too soon.  This is something near and dear to our hearts.  We will continue to partake in this walk in the years to come as a tribute to my father in law and my sons grand dad, that he sadly never got to meet.

On Sunday I took full advantage of having Brendon home, and decided to jump in my car and head to the grocery store...without the baby!  I honestly didn't know what I was going for other then to get out of the house, alone.  I was gone for all of 15 mins. And came back with strawberries, bananas, raspberry's and this chocolate that you microwave and dip fruit in and it hardens on the fruit, nutritious, I know...  It was SO nice to even just get out and have a break for 15 mins.  Not to mention to not listen to a baby cry in the vehicle.  Ahhh it was nice.  I contemplated going for a drive alone but went back to make dinner.  I appreciated and enjoyed every minute.

This ended up being a very random post!  I am anything but a writer and this blog is a seriously terrible read.  But I am only doing it for myself.

xo
A

Funk!

I'm in a funk.

I haven't been to the gym for 2 weeks...yes you heard me correctly for two. weeks.  Bahh!

The first week I missed because of appointments and just laziness and last week we took the week off because Beckham was sick, and got me sick.  So I don't have a lot of energy.  I'm still sick but regardless, I have to get back to the gym and get out of this funk!

It used to be part of my morning routine, I enjoyed going and working out.  But now to think of working that back into our routine, sounds depressing.  How can two weeks off make you not want to step foot back into the gym?

xo
A

Sick again...

This baby has thee weakest immune system and unfortunately catches everything (and I am the anal Mom that practices hand hygiene like crazy and harps on my husband to do the same before touching our child!) This is the third time he's been sick and he's only 14 weeks old.  The last two times were just severe congestion.  We deal with congestion on a daily basis as he has esophageal reflux disease.  We have the head of his crib elevated and he was on medication for 8 weeks but he still continues to suffer.  The first time he fell sick, he was only 3 weeks old and he was very congested.  B was out of town working, and it was in the evening that his symptoms were getting worse.  I was talking to my Nanny (grandmother) on the phone and she decided she wanted to come stay with me to help out.  The amazing parents I have, picked her up and drove her to my house, making a pit stop at the drugstore and picked up a hydra sense kit.  The hydra sense nasal aspirator has been a life saver, it is a must have for any parent with a baby.  Anyways, this time around Beckham is not only really congested, but has a bad cough.  He has been coughing for the past 4 days, but it's been very inconsistent and quite honestly sounded like a fake cough, so I had wondered if he learnt how to cough and just 'coughed' to make noise.  This morning he woke up with more of a barking sounding cough that is very persistent.  I guess this changes my plans to get back to the gym this week.  I refuse to be THAT person that I curse about that continues to bring their snot nose, coughing, sneezing child to strollercise, a class that is for mom AND baby.   I am certain these past two illness' he's picked up from there.  One of the children had croup the last time we went and his stroller was next to the child with croups stroller, as I wasn't aware he had it until the next day...  I hope Beckham's better by Wednesday so we can still attend our new moms group!  Here's to hoping. 

xo
A 

And then there were three! (Only 3 months late!)

Your first breath, took ours away...

After 16 long hours of labour, we welcomed our son, Beckham, on Thursday, February 21 at 4:23am, weighing 6lbs 10oz.  Tears of pure love and joy ran down our faces as we met this perfect little guy for the first time, there are no words to describe how amazing it was.

Now whoever said childbirth is a beautiful thing, surely didn't go through what I just had.  The only beautiful thing about it was this baby that was now laying on my chest.  I seriously felt like a pig that had just been slaughtered!  I won't go into too many details, but it just wasn't 'pretty'!

We were discharged on Friday around 8:00 pm, it wasn't until then, that I thought the whole labour/ birth was such an amazing experience.  I remember getting teary eyed as we bid farewell to the nurses, that just brought my baby boy into this world, not to mention who cared for me.  I don't think they get enough credit for what they do, what a rewarding job they have.  I can still remember how the room was so perfectly lit, the anticipation and the love that I felt, oh the love that filled that room.  I can see the crowd of  doctors and nurses that were called to be on stand by and watched my baby be born into this world.  The whole atmosphere was one to remember, everything was just so perfect.  I wonder why doctors, other then my delivery doctor, were called to be there for the birth.  Maybe it was because my amniotic fluid level had been so low, for so long?  Or maybe they saw something they thought was a concern?  Who knows.  His apgar score was a 9, so there was no need to have any other doctor then the one delivering him, but I'm glad they had the others just in case.

The hours, days, and weeks following his birth were spent recovering and snuggling this perfect baby, that I call my son.  I was totally out of commission for weeks after his birth, I had a brutal recovery.  I couldn't walk, let alone get in and out of the vehicle, I know they say women's bodies are designed to give birth but I still don't think anything of that size should come out of 'there' comfortably.  Which explains the long road to recovery.  Luckily he is totally worth all the pain I went through!  I couldn't love something more.

First we had each other, then we had you, and now we have everything.

xo
a

Growth spurt?

Google says when a baby is going through a growth spurt that they wake frequently through the night, it also mentions at 3 months they go through a growth spurt.  Well let me tell you...google seems to be right!  This past week has been challenging, in the sense that I haven't got a lot of sleep consecutively.  Although Beckham was still in his crib from 8:00 - 8:30pm until 8:00 - 8:30am, he was waking up every half an hour - 2 hours, not to eat, but because he needed his pacifier.  You will almost always see him with his paci in his mouth, he is a paci boy.  However, he typically falls asleep with it and sometime throughout the night he'll spit it out, and he's okay with that.  This past week if the pacifier fell out, he fussed until you went and put it back in, he constantly had to suck, and he was  wanting to eat twice in the 12 hour stretch, rather then his typical one time.  Luckily, last night he was back to not requiring his paci when it fell out and was only up at 5:00am to eat.  I hope he's gone back to his normal routine and that last week doesn't become our new normal.  I didn't go to the gym once this past week, a combination of appointments, my new moms group, and exhaustion prevented me from going.  I suck.  You can bet I'll be there with bells on everyday except for Wednesday, as my new moms group conflicts with my strollercise/rock bottoms class.
Speaking of my new moms group, last Wednesday was our first class and I absolutely love it!  We have an amazing group of moms and I can't wait to get to know them better and have some mommy friends!!  It is put on through our health centre and I can't say enough good things about it!

xo
A